{"id":174355,"date":"2023-03-08T08:54:53","date_gmt":"2023-03-08T15:54:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inbusinessphx.com\/?p=174355"},"modified":"2023-03-08T08:54:53","modified_gmt":"2023-03-08T15:54:53","slug":"on-international-womens-day-leverage-the-tribal-knowledge-of-female-mentors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/?p=174355","title":{"rendered":"On International Women\u2019s Day, Leverage the Tribal Knowledge of Female Mentors"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The 2023 campaign theme for International Women\u2019s Day is #EmbraceEquity. While this hashtag highlights the tremendous strides women have made in and out of the workplace, it also calls attention to the many areas where we\u2019re still striving to gain ground: pay, promotions, political representation, gender bias, the so-called \u201cmotherhood penalty,\u201d and sometimes, our own self-image and self-esteem.<\/p>\n

As we celebrate and support our sisters on March 8, Deb Boelkes, a former Fortune 500 executive and entrepreneur, has a message she wants all women to hear: We are our own best resource in closing the equity gap. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy should the newest generation of emerging leaders enter their careers with little to no tribal knowledge of what it means to struggle, succeed, and lead as a woman?\u201d asks Boelkes, author of the new book Strong Suit: Leadership Success Secrets From Women on Top <\/a><\/em>. \u201cInstead of climbing from the ground up, rising women should be standing on the shoulders of the women who came before them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Having worked with and mentored hundreds of female leaders, many of whom were C-level, Boelkes says most are eager to offer a hand to their sisters still climbing the ladder.<\/p>\n

\u201cI began my career at a time when the business world was much more male-dominated than it is today, and I surmounted a lot of obstacles on my own,\u201d recalls Boelkes. \u201cI want to pass the lessons I learned on to rising female leaders so they can spend their time and energy learning new <\/em>lessons and breaking new <\/em>barriers. After all, that\u2019s what equity<\/em> is all about: helping others access opportunities so that equality <\/em>can eventually be achieved.\u201d<\/p>\n

Boelkes wrote Strong Suit <\/em>to serve as the \u201cvoice of a mentor\u201d for women in all fields and at all levels. Besides sharing her own wisdom, Boelkes extensively interviewed seven women who made it to the top of the corporate world, the government, the military, and beyond. You\u2019ll read about their lives and careers in their own words\u2014as well as their insights on topics ranging from identifying and capitalizing on one\u2019s strengths, leading through challenging times, forming relationships at the top, learning from mistakes, and balancing career with family.<\/p>\n

Strong Suit <\/em>is the fourth book in a series packed with real-world lessons from successful leaders. Even more than its predecessors, Strong Suit <\/em>is a comprehensive treasure trove of no-holds-barred advice. Yes, it\u2019s a bit of an investment, but it\u2019s the kind of book that will serve as a lifelong resource. Not only will it decrease your learning curve as you navigate your career, it\u2019s a book you\u2019ll return to again and again as you achieve new things and face new challenges.<\/p>\n

Here, Boelkes\u2014with help from a few of the \u201cwomen on top\u201d she has interviewed\u2014shares eight insights from Strong Suit <\/em>that will help rising women #EmbraceEquity:<\/p>\n

Your past helps mold who you are\u2014but it doesn\u2019t have to define what you can accomplish. <\/strong>We all learn lessons and pick up traits\u2014both positive and negative\u2014from our parents and other formative figures. Their expectations and opinions of us help shape our trajectories. Most of us were probably told, \u201cYou can do anything you set your mind to,\u201d but we may have also absorbed negative lessons (either explicit or implied) about women\u2019s roles and our own capabilities.<\/p>\n

\u201cUltimately, your background does not determine whether you can make it to the top,\u201d stresses Boelkes. \u201cThis is something a lot of us know in theory, but have trouble internalizing. We carry limiting\u2014and inaccurate\u2014assumptions about what we have to offer and what our place in the world should be. Try to identify these beliefs and use them as a springboard for positive action.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even in this day and age (like it or not!) appearance matters. <\/strong>Boelkes acknowledges that this advice goes against some schools of popular thought, but she insists it\u2019s a truth that today\u2019s rising leaders still need to live by. Every day is a dress rehearsal for the C-suite (or whatever goal you are working toward), and your appearance impacts how others perceive you.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe women I interviewed were pleased that expectations regarding appearance are not as stringent, and perhaps unfair, as they used to be,\u201d says Boelkes. \u201cBut they all agreed that presence does <\/em>matter, even in fields where individuality, creativity, and informality are the norm. Here\u2019s my advice: Don\u2019t think of it as dressing to \u2018please\u2019 others. You aren\u2019t. All of us\u2014men and women\u2014should use our appearance as a tool to positively influence how others respond to us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stop being sorry for asking questions and sharing your opinion. <\/strong>Boelkes says many women tend to minimize themselves, usually unconsciously. They\u2019ll say things like, \u201cSorry, but I have a question,\u201d or, \u201cI could be wrong, but\u2026.\u201d Sometimes they\u2019d rather not say anything than share an opinion that hasn\u2019t been thoroughly thought-out and researched. (This happens less often with men!) Boelkes urges all women to remember: You got to where you are because you are smart, qualified, and capable. Others saw those things in you then<\/em>, so continue to showcase them now. <\/em><\/p>\n

Linda Rutherford, executive vice president and chief communications officer of Southwest Airlines, recalls that after being promoted to VP, she initially struggled to speak up in the boardroom. \u201cIf I had a thought before, sometimes I would whisper it to the person next to me. But then the room did not benefit from that thought or that perspective. I have learned that my value is to share that thought or that perspective with everyone in the room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExecutive\u201d and \u201cemotionless\u201d aren\u2019t synonyms. <\/strong>As the leader of a peer mentoring program for C-level women, Boelkes has met many women who think that once they reach \u201cthe top,\u201d they need to be calm, collected, stoic, unemotional, and mentally tough at all times. These female execs hide or shut down any expression of empathy, anxiety, indecision, or even joy. They hold other people at arm\u2019s length to avoid dealing with emotional upheaval.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo wonder we think it\u2019s lonely at the top!\u201d exclaims Boelkes. \u201cFor many years, female leaders did <\/em>have to tamp down so-called expressions of femininity as they fought to ascend the male-dominated ranks. That\u2019s why, as we continue to work toward equity, it\u2019s so important to have friendships with other female leaders. Build an inner circle where you can be candid and can count on support and authentic advice. Continue to maintain warm and supportive relationships with board members, industry peers, direct reports, and high-potentials downline.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leadership is not about your skills. It\u2019s about your people. <\/strong>Some leaders, especially new ones, are stuck in the mindset that their success hinges on the technical skills they were judged on prior to their promotion. But leadership isn\u2019t about how well you<\/em> can do something; it\u2019s about how well you can develop, engage, and motivate your team so that they <\/em>can do that task. Boelkes says your first priority as a leader is assembling and empowering a great team, followed by removing any obstacles that stand in the way of their success. When you enable everyone to perform at their individual best, you\u2019ll all cross the finish line together.<\/p>\n

Retired U.S. Army Lieutenant General Kathleen M. Gainey agrees. \u201cWhat I quickly learned is, people are your most important resource. If you invest in people, they will take care of you. When you make a mistake, they will correct it\u2026If you have created an environment where they can share information with you and not\u2026be yelled at, or screamed at, they will share things with you that you need to know.\u201d<\/p>\n

Assessments exist for a reason. Use them.<\/strong> It can be surprisingly challenging to answer the question, \u201cWhat are your strong suits?\u201d Boelkes warns that a true strong suit isn\u2019t just something you\u2019re good at; it should also bring you joy and tie into your purpose. To help you zero in on these sometimes-elusive strengths, how they manifest in your life, and how to best leverage them, she recommends assessments like CliftonStrengths and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.<\/p>\n

\u201cKnowing what makes you stand out can give you a big leg up and help you become the best version of yourself,\u201d she says. \u201cFocusing on what you are really great at and <\/em>love doing will elevate your performance and enhance your authenticity. You\u2019ll be comfortable with yourself as well as your evolving roles and responsibilities, rather than feeling like an imposter or a square peg in a round hole as you climb the ladder.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you choose to improve in one area, make it soft skills. <\/strong>Communication and relationship-management skills are what build a great culture (and Boelkes is adamant that a great culture is what leads to great metrics, not the other way around). Yet\u2014despite the fact that this generation of workers has made it clear how much they value good relationships with their leaders\u2014there is a noted \u201csoft-skill gap\u201d in many business education programs. That\u2019s why Boelkes recommends identifying role models and adopting their behaviors, attitudes, and methods.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is a big gap between understanding organizational theory and becoming an inspirational leader,\u201d Boelkes notes. \u201cThe only way to fill it is through observing and, more importantly, doing<\/em>. Start by treating people the way you would want to be treated and consciously inspiring them to be their best. You\u2019ll instinctively feel which tactics work and can build from there. The good news is, so-called soft skills like communication, empathy, emotional intelligence, and flexibility tend to be innate for many women\u2014so lean into your feminine strengths!\u201d<\/p>\n

You may be able to \u201chave it all\u201d\u2014if you have help. <\/strong>The concept of \u201chaving it all\u201d\u2014and whether that\u2019s even possible\u2014has sparked fierce debate. Based on her own experience and the feedback she\u2019s received from fellow executive mothers, Boelkes believes that women can<\/em> enjoy a fulfilling career and a strong family life\u2014but success in this endeavor has to be a team effort.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust like building a successful executive career, raising children demands large amounts of time, energy, and emotional investment,\u201d she says. \u201cSharing the load with others who are also invested in your child\u2019s future should not be seen as a weakness or failure, but as a prudent decision to enhance everyone\u2019s well-being. You\u2019ll need a supportive partner, a trusted network of family and friends, or reliable outside childcare\u2014often all three!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen it comes to embracing equity, leveraging your strong suits and helping others do the same is akin to \u2018a rising tide lifts all boats,\u2019\u201d concludes Boelkes. \u201cI have seen firsthand how powerful it is when successful women advise, develop, and support their sisters. I hope you\u2019ll let the campaign theme for this year\u2019s International Women\u2019s Day motivate you to seek out female role models\u2026and perhaps become a mentor yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Deb Boelkes<\/strong> is the author of\u00a0<\/strong>Strong Suit: Leadership Success Secrets From Women on Top<\/em>.\u00a0<\/em>Deb is not just a role model and heartfelt leader; she\u2019s the ultimate authority on accelerating the advancement of aspiring leaders to the top of best places to work. She has 25+ years in Fortune 150 high-tech firms, leading superstar business development and professional services teams. As an entrepreneur, she has accelerated advancement for women eager to achieve success. Deb has delighted and inspired over 1,000 audiences across North America.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The 2023 campaign theme for International Women\u2019s Day is #EmbraceEquity. While this hashtag highlights the tremendous strides women have made in and out of the workplace, it also calls attention to the many areas where we\u2019re still striving to gain ground: pay, promotions, political representation, gender bias, the so-called \u201cmotherhood penalty,\u201d and sometimes, our own […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10968,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-174355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-leadership-management","tag-featured-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=174355"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174355\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=174355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=174355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.inbusinessphx.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=174355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}